Buy Your Drinks Beforehand So You Don't Run Out
by Pantherpelt
Summary: Gin runs out of strawberry milk. Lots of trouble comes after. One-shot.


_A/N: Three cheers for Gintama! Yay! Yeah, if you aren't too lazy, you read the label and saw this labeled, probably, if I didn't change my mind, humor. Well, if my humor is as bad as hell, just stop reading the fanfic. If it REALLY rots, then tell me of the reviews. You know what, don't tell me. I probably don't want to know._

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"Oi, Shinpachi, we're out of strawberry milk. Go buy some."

Gin sat in his seat, draining the last carton of the sacred sugary goodness.

"Gin-san, please tell me how this is my fault at all. You're the only one who drinks the stuff anyway."

"Shinpachi, don't be lazy. Just do it." Kagura retorted from her lounging position on the couch.

"How am I being lazy?! If anything, you guys are the bums!!" Shinpachi sat down on the other couch opposite Kagura. "I'm not going anywhere. You guys get your own milk."

"Okay then, you do it Kagura." Gin said, picking his nose.

"No way! I'll get abducted! Don't you care about my safety?!"

"Don't you care about my comfort? Look, if nobody will go, then we'll all go together. Happy?"

"No," Kagura and Shinpachi said in unison.

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"Tell me again why we're here," Shinpachi mumbled.

"To get my strawberry milk, that's why," Gin replied.

"No, I mean why Kagura and I are here with you, going shopping for your stupid—"

"Don't diss strawberry milk," Gin cut Shinpachi off, glaring at Shinpachi menacingly.

"Gin-san is really grumpy, that's why we're here. You wonder why both Sadaharu and Gin-san like strawberry milk, though. Maybe 'cause they're both dogs." Kagura browsed the isle of the supermarket, searching for something that would at least barely pass for Gintoki's favorite drink.

"Here Gin-san! Now let's go!" Kagura dropped a package of some item into the basket that Gin was holding.

Shinpachi and Gin looked at the package…

"Oi! You just picked up more pickled seaweed for yourself! Don't you have thousands of packages of that already?! How much of this junk do you eat each day?!" Gin threw the package back onto the shelf.

"Oh, you're here too?"

The three turned from their fight to see Katsura and Elizabeth with a shopping cart.

Gin did a flying kick and hit Katsura's face. "Why are you here?! What happened to it being 'too risky to come out in public?!' That's why you didn't help us find Sadaharu last week!"

"Oh, about that, I—"

Katsura was immediately bombarded with the bottom of Gin's and Katsura's shoes, as Shinpachi sighed. He grabbed four cartons of Gin's strawberry milk, and then looked at Elizabeth. She just stood there, staring into nothing. How creepy.

Suddenly, an explosion ruptured from the front desk. Turning slowly, not sure if he really wanted to see this, Shinpachi glanced at the source of the noise to find a crater, a scared worker, and someone with a bazooka.

"What are they doing here?..."

Of course, it could only be one person. Sogo Okita, with some other members of the Shinsengumi. Kondo was there, too, as well as Yamazaki and Hijikata. This could not end well.

"I told you, I want some ammo for my gun. Got it?" Sogo coolly stood there, as if he didn't just blow up a fourth of the store.

"Uh… I… that doesn't really look like a regular gun, and we don't sell missiles—"

"Then GET some missiles!"

Shinpachi stood there, stunned into silence, when a thought struck him; where was Katsura?

Gin and Kagura were pretending to shop casually, as if nothing had happened. Hijikata walked up behind them.

"Hey… have you guys seen—"

"_Oh, cra--"_

"—the mayonnaise?"

"Uh…" Gin was obviously sweating. "I think I saw it over on isle 12…"

"There is no isle 12."

Shinpachi looked around franticly. Katsura had to be hidden, so he could escape before he was noticed. Shinpachi looked up, and found…

"_What the hell!!!" _Shinpachi thought. _"Why is Katsura on the ceiling?! Wouldn't that just draw more attention to him?! How'd he get up there, anyway?!"_

Suddenly, the Shinsengumi were heading towards Shinpachi, Kagura, Gin, and Hijikata, who were still debating on where the mayonnaise was.

"Hey, you guys, what are you here for?" asked Kondo, who was rolling around a shopping cart.

"I could ask you the same thing," replied Gin.

"Well, Sogo needed bazooka ammo, Hijikata needed mayonnaise, and Yamizaki needed more badminton stuff."

"That's kinda stupid," snickered Kagura.

"Yeah?! So's your face!" Kondo yelled, pointing to Shinpachi.

"What?! Why me?!"

"Hey, you don't tell Shinpachi the truth so suddenly like that! It'll hurt his feelings!" Gin retorted.

"You don't tell me what to do!"

"I just did!"

"You're asking for it, mop head!"

"Bring it on, stalker!"

Gin and Kondo tackled each other, and Kagura was running around, calling Hijikata 'Mayo Monster,' and Hijikata was chasing her. Okita was firing explosives in their direction, saying that he was trying to hit Kagura, but it really looked like he was trying to kill Hijikata. (nothing new, right?)

"YOU TURD HEADS! STOP DISTURBING THE PEACE!"

Everyone froze in place. Then they turned their heads slowly…

The scariest shopkeeper ever loomed over them. There was a fish in his hand, a bandana wrapped around his forehead, a gardening rake strapped to his back, and on his belt was every little potentially violent thing you could find in a supermarket.

He bellowed in a low, demonic voice, "FOR RUINING THE STORE, I'LL KILL YOU!"

"_NOOOOO!!!"_


End file.
